The Metropolitan Police have been heavily criticised for their use of excessive force while disbanding a protest in London earlier today. Victor Tommly from Humans Against Human Aggression (HAHA) stated :
We became aware this evening that the MET used excessive force in disbanding a largely peaceful protest against banks or the price of watercress or some shite. HAHA are completely against this type of crowd control, along with out sister organisations HOHA and HEHE. Water cannon fine, tear gas okay, but this is just unacceptable.
We spoke to a clearly shaken Robert Titimink who attended today’s protest :
It was all going okay. We were surrounded by police in riot gear but that’s not unheard of and there may have been a few shouts but it was all largely peaceful. Then some idiot threw a watercress sandwich and it all went wrong. We expected maybe the water cannons but the riot police just suddenly disappeared and this siren started like one of those old air-raid sirens.
At this point Robert takes a moment to compose himself with a quick cup of chamomile tea and a face-mask.
So there’s this siren blaring and then someone turns on a search light down the street and we see this silhouette of a man standing in front of it, like out of a film. And he starts running. We’re all just staring at this shadow pegging it towards us. It’s accelerating and it lets out this blood curdling battle cry. Then we see him properly, this fella that looks about fifty, with a beard wearing a Chelsea jersey. One of the guys beside me starts going, “Oh Christ is that Diego Cos…..” and the next second he’s mowed down by a studs up two footed lunge off the ground. I get an elbow to the nose and fall down across him. I look up and this guy’s in the middle of everyone, there’s limbs and bodies flying into the air and he’s laughing, covered in blood beating someone to death with their own scrotum like some barbarian. I only got out alive because I pulled a Chelsea jersey off some torso and didn’t move. I think his sight is based on movement.
We reached out to the MET for comment :
Obviously we only deploy Costa as a last resort. We hope that this incident will act as a deterrent to any other peaceful protests.
We also sent a reporter to interview Costa. So far we have had two fingers and an ear returned.
