In an attempt to dispel some of the negativity which meet the unveiling of Liverpool’s third kit this week, New Balance has decided to include a free set of white gloves, a whistle and some glow sticks with every purchase.
A spokesperson for New Balance stated:
Well it’s not like anyone that isn’t on drugs is going to buy it so we thought that we should appeal to the core market interested in purchasing neon clothes with anti-sweat technology.
Always striving to provide the most accurate reporting, thesundayleague.ie visited the nearest rave to test this hypothesis. We spoke with Harvey, a young gentleman obsessed with chewing invisible bubblegum, and asked his opinion:
C’mere boi, see that haype’a shite, I wouldn’t give ya a fiver soaked in sack sweat for it even if they threw in a few yokes!
When we reported this interaction to the New Balance representative he replied:
It’ll still sell better than Norwich’s third kit! Am I right?
This reporter, wishing to remain impartial, declined the proffered high five.
